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WORTH

by OldeMara

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1.
Worth 01:52
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All I’m doing Standing, wallowing How can I measure up? What’s the point of this If you don’t understand your Own purpose? I’m sorry that I can’t measure up To what we thought I’d amount to I’m nothing but words That never cease to fail everyone I’m sorry
2.
Rest 02:10
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We’re all in need of rest From the wicked For we are the weary We’re all in need of sleep To dream of the far away An escape where we can play I’m in need of you I can’t do this on my own I’m in need of you Will you take me to where I can rest In spite of all the fear I still wake up
3.
Locks 01:56
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Please don’t pick at me I’m too sensitive to bare The things that I’ve locked away With such tender care My scars lie behind these locks that should never be opened The horrors of a life No one prepared me for How could they have foreseen Me dying every day Inside I’m alone and left to stay Until her love showed the way But the path is uncrossable At least for me The journey incompatible With my broken mind Failure I’m such a failure I’m bound and gagged By the crippling anxiety I have Failures
4.
Because 02:36
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I can remember when I was younger All of the little things Excitement so foreign to me now Am I a hollow being? She’s my whole world But I can’t in good conscience say That it’s all up to her to make my day So... I hope to one day have iron clad skin So venomous words don’t take hold within I hope to one day be brave like my father So I don’t cry like a pig to the slaughter I hope to one day stand up to the devil Lest he command and possess this vesel Then he would be Trapped within me With all of my Panic and anxiety I hope I’m alright one day Because I can’t stand it here anymore I hope I’m someone who’s made Something of their life Because happiness is all I want And it’s not fair to you To shoulder all of me
5.
Heartless 03:03
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Take me down to the bottom of the ocean I don’t care where we wind up, just swim Drown me down at the bottom of the ocean Where I feel like I deserve it all Hurt me more than anyone else has Will you bury me with the god I once had? Hurt me more than anyone else has Will you take care of the home I once had? Hurt me more than anyone else has Will you be there for the love I once had? You are heartless Naturally You are ruthless Unshakably You are scurrilous Undoubtedly Murderous Self reliantly Dangerous To everyone, especially yourself Don’t pretend you’re alone in this Look around you They’re here to help Don’t pretend you’re the only one Who’s ever felt this way Hurt me more than anyone else has Don’t pretend that you’re the same olde mara You’re heartless, naturally You’re selfish, insatiably
6.
S M S H 03:12
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Maybe all the hurtful words are true That I am nothing, save for you Attached yourself to a sinking ship Adrift alone in all the shit It hurts to pretend that I’m alright I fight it everyday with all my might I’m the living dead, it seems There’s nothing left for me I hate me Murder the mirror to get some relief I hate this Suffocating blackness wrapped around my heart I hate you For letting me become this thing to be abused I know You are Alone Because I am too

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released August 9, 2019

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OldeMara New Jersey

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